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Does it life ever stop being about money? do things ever stop getting so expensive? does the universe ever say "hey you know what, we know this makes you happy so we'll cut you a break this time"
It's no fun when your life math equations don't match your life budget...and the sacrifice comes from the places that make you happy.
I hate to use this as a gripe session but god sometimes i just need to get this crap out.
I ( like most equestrians) have a few of those friends who just have everything, the name brand stuff, the million dollar horses and the opportunity to show where they want and when they want without having to worry about how much it costs to be there or if you'll even perform well. As much as I absolutely love my friends, I cannot stand not always being able to keep up with them.
To me, my horse is worth more money then is in existence in this world, but i wish he came to me knowing a lot more then he did, and just having that horse show hunter-y blood running through his veins.
I also wish that i wasn't a broke college sophomore, out of a single parent income with my own minimum wage part time income that barely covers the cost of board.
My mother has done everything for me, for my entire life. You will never hear me complain about anything she has or will do for me. She is the absolute best parent. My father on the other hand, bless his heart, is such a good hearted man but, he's an imbecile with any kind of money. The woman he lives with (who I loathe to even admit, is my step-mother) is also an idiot when it comes to money, but not only that, she is a hypochondriac that is perpetually sick and in pain (and full of shit).
He has spent more money pleasing her, and probably has not payed any form of child support since i was about 6 (14 years ago).
I know i shouldn't complain about the things that I cannot change or the financial obligations that I knowingly took on at 18. But I have to be honest, things would be a whole lot easier if I had him supporting me in some way shape or form. I wouldn't have to work 30 hours a week on top of being a full time student, just to be able to have my dream. I wouldn't have a panic attack when my boss tells me that they have to cut my hours back because the store isn't doing so well.
I want, so badly to just be able to be good at something so that I can say, "yeah, that was me, I did that." I want to be able to compete at horse shows and not worry about how I'm going to be able to pay the bill afterwards. I want to the well at horse shows, but to do well you have to actually be able to go to them and to do that you actually have to have money....
I'm sorry, I know I sound spoiled rotten right now but, I have saved ever penny I have ever made since I was 15 and when you finally realize that it isn't enough... it's absolutely heart breaking.